Thursday, November 21, 2013

In Which Me Asks Myself "Am I A Real Runner?"

Me: Good Morning, how are you?
Myself: Oh, not bad thanks, how are you?
Me: Hey, not bad at all. Was wondering if you could help me with something.
Myself: Go ahead, shoot.
Me: Okay...now I know I've asked you before but I was wondering if you could maybe tell me again...
Myself: Yes?
Me: I was wondering. Am I a "real runner"?
Myself: Oh, for goodness sake! AGAIN? (sighs)
Me: I know, we've talked about this before...and I thought I had a bit of a handle on it...but...
Myself: Okay, I don't mind doing this one more time, here we go. "Do you run?"
Me: No
Myself: What? Any other time I asked, you said "Yes".
Me: I know...(anxiously)
Myself: So what's different now? Are you injured?
Me: No, not really.
Myself: Well then, is it just a really busy time of year and you haven't had the opportunity to get out there?
Me: Don't think so, it hasn't been any busier than last year at this time and I was running tons back then.
Myself: So is it just a motivation issue?
Me: Not sure what else it could be. It feels stupid cuz I remember all the times I was desperate to run but I couldn't. And now that I can run....I'm not! I hear about all these injured runners out there and it's almost like hey, wanna borrow my legs, cuz they're perfectly fine and I'm not usin' them anyway!
Myself: Hmmm. How's your weight?
Me: Yeah, it's going up a little. I don't run and that's what happens...
Myself: So are you watching what you eat?
Me: You bet. I watch it on the plate, I watch it onto my fork and then I watch it go into my mouth.
Myself: You're funny. Not. What's the snacking like, still doing the celery and peanut butter thing?
Me: Yep. And then I do the ice cream thing, the chip thing, the chocolate bar thing, and the buttered popcorn thing. And lord help me if there's leftovers from dinner...
Myself: Oh. My. God.
Me: I know. It's bad, isn't it?
Myself: You bet. I don't even really know what to say or suggest doing differently. So do you miss it, the running?
Me: I do, I used to live for the run days and was always sort of at loose ends if it wasn't one. And now I pretty well couldn't care less. So that's why I asked you again if you thought I was a real runner. It's almost as if I can feel it all slipping away.
Myself: Okay, here's what I know. Running will always be there for you. As much as you might not always be there for it, it will be like the most faithful and forgiving girlfriend you could ever wish for. It will pass no judgement and will greet you with open arms whenever you choose to run again. And when you do go back to it, cuz you and I know you will, it will once again give you back more than you could possibly give it in return. 
Me: You're sure about that...?
Myself: No doubt about it. And as to that "Am I a real runner" thing you keep springing on me, I don't think there's a runner out there who at some point didn't have that very same question, possibly over and over again. And I think a lot of them maybe even stopped running altogether, for whatever reason, and wondered what role it played in their lives. And then...because they were a real runner...they ran!
Me: Okay. (pause) Cool.

8 comments:

  1. I do the "buttered popcorn" thing too! :)
    I seem to have this conversation with myself eve while I'm running. I seem to think that if I'm not elite or at the least, really fast then I'm not a runner. But I do know this, I love it! Sounds like you do too!
    Great post!

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    1. Thanks, Sami! Been having a love affair with buttered popcorn since Grade One or so! Whenever I hear other runners tossing around stats, training plan descriptions and techno terms I always wonder how real a runner I am as well (in spite of all the motivational posters telling me I AM one!) But, you're right, I really love it!

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  2. This is great! I ask myself this often too. I've kinda had an on-again-off-again relationship with running, and those off periods always throw me.

    You can read my running story here. There's a pic in there I made that you might relate to. :-)

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Clarinda! I paid you a visit and enjoyed the blog! And the pic was great, you did an awesome job!

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  3. We all ask ourselves this. We all times where the motivation just isn't there. It will come back. Just wait it out or try doing something else for a little while. Sometimes the hardest part is just getting the shoes on and out the door once you are out there you remember oh yeah I like this.

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    1. Yeah, I'm sure it won't be long before I'm back out there. TODAY, though, we had over 20 inches of snow so I might have to wait a bit lol!

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  4. Yep, I feel this way about running since I occasionally trail run - but only 3-5 km or so. And I wonder if I'm a real hiker b/c I don't hike mountains (primarily because there aren't any around here!). But it's all nonsense labels really. So then I try to just remember that and enjoy what I'm doing!

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    1. Oh to be hiking in the mountains, I follow all these people from out west and the pics drive me crazy! But you are so correct about the labels!

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